Sleep is my best friend and my worst enemy. I crave it, yet I don't want to. It feels good, yet I want to need it less. Sleep is like an escape from reality, which makes it so appealing for me. Plus between depression, sleep apnea, and medications, it seems like I'm perpetually sleepy!
The first 3 hours this morning at work however were that extreme narcoleptic type of sleepiness where I, no joke, had my eyes nodding off while talking to my first hour of customers- strange feeling having that little control over one's social etiquette! - falling asleep during conversations is a symptom of narcolepsy...and Im not sure I've ever felt it to that degree. (not that I have narcolepsy)
Being tired yet being at school or work is torture, like prison where all you can do is crave a nap but can't say, "Excuse me, I'm going home because I've reached an extreme level of tired!" :) Plus everyone always says they're tired.
Well for the life of me I didn't know why I got hit so hard this morning in particular! The one medication I have that I actually feel results from is the one for anxiety, such as shortly after Irelyn was born. It brings me back to status quo depression, and has made me feel drowsy at times, but have been able to use it effectively in mornings for work, so I was hoping it wasn't that.
Then I remember I just up-ed the dosage on my new medication and take it morning an night now. Oh boy! I hate that feeling so hopefully my body adjusts. Just interesting entering the life of medications. Today Emily said I need a medicine cabinet because I had literally like 10 bottles sitting on the bathroom counter- but it's just because we keep trying new meds and I have all these left-over failure meds:)
Anyway, I better quit blogging now before I get adsfffffffffffffffffffffffdfffffsssssssssssssssd I don't want to ride the pony
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