So I've been going through my diaries out of curiosity and come across some interesting things; glimpses of OCD in my childhood.
Notice all the darkened areas. At a glance, it could look like just sloppy elementary handwriting. But you'll notice there was nothing wrong with most of those areas, but they just bothered me for no apparent reason so I had to "fix" them. This is not normal. Now wonder I was always behind with my diary, it took so darn long to get through writing!
Notice how "Sincerely Casey" was perfectly fine and yet got crossed out, but the second doesn't look any better, but for some reason it was okay. And the triangles of "sincerely's" on the one page is weird. I remember knowing this stuff was weird, and so sometimes I would try and make it look like I was just doodling or try and add an error to a word on purpose to make it look legitimate.
These are just small examples of what would consume some days in my life as a child.
Hmmm...interesting. I think it's also kinda funny that you mention what you ate and that you went to bed :)
ReplyDeleteCasey, I remember stuff like this. And I remember myself doing stuff like that-but not out of perfection but out of fear. Fear drove me. Do you remember my issues with the paper route? And going back and checking things over and over? Anyway-I love you just the way you are-I remember these struggles you had as a child and you were one of my best friends! I remember endless talks with you. I love you!
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