I am aware the nature of this blog is to be centered around me, but I deem this appropriate in what I seek to accomplish.
Today as I drove to pick up some random Items, I had some time to think. Hope is so powerful. Hope means I believe I won't simply observe a better future, I will actually feel it, breathe it, look back to black days and applaud God for them for bringing me here. I want to have a deep satisfaction in life because of God in which I wake up each morning glad to be alive just because I enjoy it. I was made to
My emotional temperature tells me I am not here yet. Two days ago I ran a transaction for an elderly gentleman. I felt envious of him: envious of his age, envious of how much less of life he had to suffer through, envious of how close I could be to heaven if it were me. I know this is not normal.
Currently I am on the inside of that barbed wire, but I understand that just behind those thorns of pain a consuming glow of the sun and the cross of thorns promises me I'll be on the other side someday before heaven, not longing to be in my latter years, but soaking up what God allows me to experience in the now.
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